Dear wood plank.

Did it hurt when I ran you over after switching lanes at 65MPH? I don't think it did, because you were still in the same position when I looked back, stubborn you. Now I will be sending you a bill for the damages: new tire ($100), new wheel ($70), and heartache ($54378295634782657346925432). Thank you for your business, but due to certain events, I hope that we never meet again.